White Elephant Gifts

So tonight was my husbands annual work Christmas Party. We had so much fun. Dinner, white elephant gift exchange, and gingerbread house decorating. Seth's boss is amazing and makes gingerbread houses for each family to decorate, that is always my favorite part of the Christmas party.

So we had a white elephant gift exchange as well. Usually the gifts are pretty decent. Occasionally a few of them end up as gag gifts, but this was the first time that I actually received one of the gag gifts. Now there is usually not much that can make me, but when I opened up the the gift and saw what it was I felt my face get hot and I totally could not stop myself from blushing. The gift that I opened up was a book by the title of: Porn for new Moms

So embarrassing right?

Yes I must say I was curious, so I looked inside of the book. On every page there is a picture of hunky fathers with their cute babies and funny sayings that go along with the different pictures. A few of my favorites are:

• Damn! You look hot in those sweatpants!
• No, you relax for a while. I've figured out how to fold everything one-handed.
• Look what I got for you. It's a combination sleep-aid, mood enhancer, breast-pain reliever, and headache preventative.
• I told my boss I have to leave at 3:00 every afternoon so I can come home and give you a break.
• Ooh, volcanic eruption with major blowout. That's so cute. I'll change her.
• No, No! Sit down! I'll do the dishes. After nine and a half months of pregnancy, 26 hours of labor, and 18 stitches, you don't have to do a damn thing around here!
• OK, you can hold him for a minute, but I want him right back.
• Honey, you are so right. the baby always does spit up when I toss her in the air right after she eats! Now remind me, what were those other things you told me not to do?
  
• Now, remember, it's my turn to do the midnight feeding, so don't get up!

And perhaps my favorite one:

• If I promise to do all the laundry and diaper changing for the next few years, can we have another one?

This book is full of things that every women wishes that her man would say to her(and actually mean it). I have to admit that it is kind of a funny book, if you can get past the title of it. It is the perfect book to recycle for next years white elephant gift exchange don't you think.